2014 VMAs recap: Sam Smith got jinxed & Nicki Minajs Anaconda dont want none

Sam Smith is our header for the VMA recap, mostly because I feel bad for him that he walked away empty handed. He lost Best Male Video to Ed Sheeran, which… I’m not sure if I agree with that. Then Smith lost Artist to Watch to… Fifth Harmony? Twitter freaked out. Twitter blamed Fifth Harmony. Y’all… blame Katy Perry. Katy was rubbing her boobs of doom on Sam all night. The Cupcake Boobs jinxed him. It was also pretty funny because Katy pretty much ignored her boyfriend, Diplo Riff Raff.

Anyway, if you’d like the full list of VMA winners, go here. I actually thought this was one of the best VMAs in several years. Possible the best one since… Florence + the Machine performed in 2010. There were so many female-driven performances and even if some of them were questionable, it felt good to see so many women with something to say musically. That being said, can we stop saying Lorde is ROCK? She won Best Rock Video. It’s not ROCK.

I’m including some of the notable performances below but please note, I’m not including every video (no 5 Seconds of Summer, because they are the budget One Direction YES I SAID IT) because some of the performances/fashion choices are getting individual posts. So, don’t yell at me about Beyonce. Beyonce is getting a separate post. SOON.

Here’s the NSFW-ish video of Ariana Grande, Jessie J and Nick Minaj’s opening performance. I mean… Minaj’s “Anaconda” performance was MTV’s big attempt for another “Miley moment”. I don’t think they should have put that on first thing, you know? And Ariana’s commitment to only being filmed and photographed on her left side is next-level. Too bad she was focusing so much on LEFT SIDE ONLY and her sad little dancing that her singing was sort of disappointing.

Jay Pharoah’s Kanye West impression is flat-out amazing. I love how the Jenner girls are laughing hysterically.

Sam Smith performed “Stay With Me”. I think this was his VMA debut, correct? Probably his debut at a major music awards show too. He did really well! I was feeling with it and it was nice to have a performance that was softer and more gospel-y.

Nicki Minaj came back to perform with Usher for what I personally think is one of Usher’s best singles in years. The song is “She Came To Give It To You”. Keep watching to see when Usher bangs his head against Minaj’s butt. #whiplash

Miley Cyrus won Video of the Year and she gave the moment to a homeless youth who made a speech in her place. We’ve come a long way from chicken-butt twerks and gross tongues. I have to give it to her – this was a stunt but it seemed heartfelt and I liked that she gave up her “moment”.

As I said, Beyonce is getting a separate post. Beyonce definitely jacked #AllTheAttention at the end, which sort of sucks for Nicki Minaj because Minaj probably would have been the most talked-about person from the show otherwise. In the wake of Beyonce, people are like “Anacondawhats that now?” Oh, and WHERE WAS DRAKE?!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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